Hey friend, I can’t believe it’s already 2023!! Since last year, the topic of hardships has been on my heart and mind. Actually, it just resurfaced again lately. Hardships, problems, unforeseen/unexpected and difficult situations come in our lives in various forms. We experience them at a personal or shared level. For some it may be struggling to: 1) land / secure or maintain a job (either get your foot in the door or have a permanent one to support yourself and/or loved ones), 2) enter into a new or better season when it comes to relationships (meet that special someone and/or foster better friendships with others), 3) know God for real (experience real meaning and purpose for your life), 4) grow in your love/affection for God as well as your obedience/submission and surrender to Him, 5) break free from unhealthy or harmful habits, 6) grow in your career etc. Others may be experiencing such hardships as: 1) loss of a job, 2) loss of a loved one (family, friend, co-worker or someone they looked up to), 3) a broken relationship (friendship, marriage and family), 4) unexpected illness (short-term or chronic), 5) unexpected heartbreak, 6) ill-treatment from mentor(s) or anyone you esteemed and looked up to, 7) unexpected medical diagnosis (e.g. infertility, cancer etc.) etc. The list can go on and on.

As we all know in all honesty, certain hardships or struggles we face in life are simply a direct result of our negative or unwise choices. Some of these hardships are among the already mentioned lists above. For instance, 1) if we don’t take good care of our body, we can easily fall prey to various forms of illnesses; 2) if we continue to willingly disobey God, this will have negative repercussions on our relationship with Him (e.g. our growth in Him may be hindered to the point of potentially preventing us from fulfilling the good plans and purposes He already has set out for us); 3) if we don’t make the effort to actively search for jobs or do well in the one we are currently at, this may hinder our career progress; 4) if we willingly expose our minds to filth through movies/music and some of the relationships we know is toxic and unhealthy, this may expose us to all kinds of negative spiritual influences emotionally/physically and even mentally; etc. I’m reminded of King David, who’s wrong choices brought hardships and problems of various kinds in his family. I’m also reminded of King Saul, who’s willful disobedience to God led God to remove His favour and anointing from him to the point of ending his reign abruptly. Although these two kings ended differently, with one repenting and regaining God’s favour while the other continued in his wrong choices and lost everything, their lives show how some of our hardships can be a direct result of our own unwise choices. If you are not too familiar with these two historical figures who lived in Biblical times, grab a Bible and read about their life story in 1&2 Samuel; as well as Psalm 51 where one of them details where his bad choices led him on a personal level and thus openly seeks God’s forgiveness. All this to say that there are struggles and hardships in life that are actually within our control, if we only choose and act upon the right thing.

The purpose of this article however is to focus on the struggles, hardships, problems or unexpected situations, twists and turns in our lives that we frankly had and still have no control over. As in, we can examine our hearts and honestly say there was nothing we did that triggered these hardships or problems we are facing. This makes me think of a man named Job, who the Bible says was in right standing with God and people but all of a sudden experienced various unexpected calamity, twists & turns, and simply very difficult situations just out of the blue. If you are not familiar with this man, I strongly recommend reading book #18 of the Bible (Job), where his life story is detailed. So, for these kinds of hardships/struggles and problems that were not a result of our doing, how are they perceived? Also, what are we allowing to mould us when we’re experiencing these very real circumstances and unexpected twists and turns?

Everyone has different approaches to how they deal with their hardships and uncertainties; but I think the way we view hardships in general can heavily influence how and whether or not we handle them. This can even influence what and who we allow to mould us during that period of hardship. Hardships or difficult situations are not viewed positively by many, if not all. I mean, no one desires to struggle or experience hardships of any kind (including the ones that result from our own wrong and unwise choices). For me personally, I used to be very afraid of hardships or unexpected circumstances; to the point where I would try to be very self-conscience and try to have as much control of situations as possible. Obviously, you can only try to control situations or circumstances for so long, because there comes a time when you need to allow yourself to grow and mature. By God’s grace I’ve learned to place my hardships and unexpected twists and turns into the hands of The Lord Jesus Christ; as He is the good and merciful God who has all the powers on earth, under the earth and in heaven to help me navigate through my circumstances, even the ones caused by my own wrong doings.

Looking up to the Lord Jesus Christ has actually helped change my perspective on hardships. Instead of being afraid and running away from hardships, by God’s grace and mercy I’ve come to embrace them and chosen to see them as an opportunity for God to mould me (character and personality wise) into healthy growth/maturity as well as into the woman He’s purposed for me to be. I can honestly say that there is no hardship or difficult situation that I’ve placed in the capable hands of the Lord Jesus Christ and did not experience His closeness, guidance/leading, help, growth and overall purpose. This past year alone for me has been very interesting but also filled with its share of different hardships and unexpected situations; but in retrospect I can see how God in His great wisdom was moulding me as I allowed Him.

What I’ve come to realize is that since as humans, we are not flawless and thus live in a fallen world, hardships are bound to come. The Lord Jesus Christ even warned His disciples in John 16:33 that they would experience many sorrows and trials. So, on various fronts hardships that are out of our control is inevitable. However, there is peace, hope and purpose that we can experience while facing those hardships if we choose to bring them to the All Mighty God, through His Son Jesus Christ, as well as allow and trust Him to mould us into maturity, strength and eventually into the people He intends for us to be. The Lord Jesus reassures that we can experience peace in Him because He is the only one who has overcome this world and all its sorrows and hardships (John 16:33). We are further encouraged in Psalm 55:22 /1 Peter 5:7 and Philippians 4:6-7, to bring Him all our burdens, cares, and worries, because He actually does care for our wellbeing (spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental) and does want us to experience lasting peace/joy/purpose and fulfilment. So, hardships in and of themselves are purposeful (Romans 5:3-5), but we can only experience that purpose if we look up to The Lord Jesus Christ and allow Him to mould us during and through those hardships, whether they’re caused by our own wrong doings or out of our control. When we place our hope, trust in Christ as well as share with Him (in prayer) the heavy and very real hardships and unpleasant circumstances we’re faced with, He is able to help us change our perception from one of fear/dread/full of pessimism or anger (even anger towards Him) to one that is filled with much hope and optimism for the circumstance(s) at hand and the future.

What about you friend, is your 2023 already filled with any of the above-mentioned hardships or any unexpected situation? What is your perception of your current hardship (may it be controllable or out of your control)? Also, what and who are you currently allowing to shape/mould you during this very difficult yet real hardship? What are your general thoughts on the topic? Let’s chat!